A Letter To My Peaches

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Peaches,

Today is the first Sunday night you will not be tucked into your bed here and I miss you.I am crying as I type this and I hardly ever cry anymore. I went to your Mom’s work and told her you had to go to your dad’s. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I feel like I have failed you miserably and I want you to know that you are so loved by your Momma and the rest of us. These last six months have been a gift from God. I don’t know what is in store for us and my heart is heavy right now but I know things can change in the blink of an eye and that is what I am hoping for.

Your mom loves you so much. She is trying to be able to be with you no matter what. Remember that. I am writing this so some day you know she has fought for you since the moment she knew about you. You are so blessed to have such a strong mother. No matter what anyone tells you she wants you all the time because you have a bond that only mothers and daughters can have not to hurt someone else. She wants you because God made you in her womb and she kept you safe there until you were ready to come out. She loves your fat little feet and your soft peaches cheeks. She loves your laughter and your giggles. She just loves you. She will tell you with her own mouth some day when you are big like her that she never did anything to ever hurt you only what she thought was best. She had to leave your dad’s house so she could be healthy and take good care of you. She did not want to break up your family and she did the right thing. It wasn’t something she did lightly and we had many conversations before she left.

Now for this, I want you to know that I tried to talk to your dad about taking you away from your mom for a week and then him missing you for a week. I think that there could be a solution to this but tonight he couldn’t listen to me. My only hope is that peoples heart soften to the point that they start thinking about you and nothing else. There is a story in the Bible about two women that were fighting over a baby and they had to go to the king to decide who was the real mother. The king told them he would cut the baby in half and that would solve the problem. The real mother then told the king to give the baby to the other woman because she couldn’t bare to have her baby hurt. That wise king then knew who the real mother was and she got her baby back. This is my hope for you. Your aunt is not your mother, your dad’s girlfriend is not your mother and I am not your mother. You have a mother that loves you with everything in her no matter what anyone tells you. I want you to have access to both of your parents but especially your mother.

Now as I close know that every night you are tucked in your bed here that we say your prayers and I am missing that right now. I love how you fold your little hands and look up at us with that grin. Your mom and I will say them for you until you get back. We love you my little sweetheart and so does your crazy dog Boots.

                                                                                 Love, Your Nana

P.S.

I have to tell your mom this McKenzie. I love you Alisha. Know your dad and I are in your corner. We are proud and so blessed to have you as our girl. I know how humbling it was for you to ask for our help and how hard it was for you to ask God back in your life. That’s what is so great about giving up the old and putting on the new. You grow and God will sustain you through it all. He will put people in your life that will help you, Always remember that I don’t care what other people say and never have. You are my sweet sweet girl and I love you just as much today as I did when you were little like my Peaches.

Happy New Year Blues

IMG_0623Last night Hungarian Work Horse and I were planning on spending the New Year home by ourselves and ringing in midnight with a few tunes of the chain saw lullaby(it is sad to say but he even snores out of tune).Staying up until midnight is not a feat uncommon for me unless I have to.The menopausal part of me never sleeps,the party animal in me can’t stay awake so a quiet night at home seemed like the best thing for us.Church and then maybe a little disagreement over what to watch after we got home was a sure thing.I ran over to my mom’s to see how she was doing and then came home to this……

“Honey,we got invited to a party.”

I was having visions of dragging him home at ten thirty all sleepy eyed and loving because some fool gave him a beer and he got tired and thought he was twenty nine again.

“Oh,who called?”

“It was Brooke,she said Alexis wants to have a New Years Party,she wants to stay up until midnight.”

“I’ll give her a call back.”

I call Brooke and she says that the kids want to stay up until midnight and Alexis wants to have a party.She then explains that they are all losers because nobody can come to their house.I am thinking,you are not losers,just bad party planners,I mean who in their right mind thinks you are going to get party goers for New Years Eve about six hours before it’s 2013? She tells me that the girls are all ready for a heated game of Parcheesi.It dawns on me then that we are the last resort and the entertainment as well.Parcheesi,nooooooooooooo, we have been playing it to death over the holidays and if I have to listen to that dice fall on the floor one more time I am going to go insane.The kids seem to think that if they shake the dice until it turns into butter and then fling it into the air like it is corn that just popped it will land right in front of them.Then the little dude and baby princess can grab it and take off running just to add a little spice to the game.It is then I remember that we have the game of Trouble in the toy room closet.(yes,this Nana has a TOY room).It is basically the same principle, just the dice is in a little bubble that you press on to roll the dice and it can’t fall on the floor.It can cut the game time in half because we aren’t chasing dice.Brilliant.I get it out with Pictionary and a few other games and off we go.

The electricity in the air was unbelievable when we stepped into the kids house. Daddy was on his recliner and Mama in the rocker rocking the twins.It’s no wonder the kids don’t know how to party!Not to worry though because here comes Nana to the rescue.We start off playing tractors.Collin goes to the bathroom to get towels for our fields.His imagination always goes crazy then.I was speeding off out of the field in my pick up telling Collin I was going uptown to get me some coffee.He hollers to me to pick him up some chicken nuggets while I am gone.This goes on for quite some time and then out comes the games.

Alexis and Peyton are really getting good at games now that they are older and I laugh at them.Trouble is better than stinking Parcheesi and Papa is playing too.Alexis is afraid of getting ahead of me because I will pick her off and send her home.We have a blast and Papa wins.I come in second.I know some people let their kids win but I don’t.I believe your kids need to lose as well as win.Besides they can run faster than me most of the time so they win too.Get it?

We finish playing and head to the living room.I think it must be getting close to midnight and find out it is only nine o’clock.I am getting sleeepy.The kids are still wild except for the twins.Landyn is now getting that bawling tired and Collin is sucking his fingers.I don’t think they are going to make it.Brooke then decides we better get the party favors out before the little ones crash.

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The noise makers were deafening.The twins could hardly blow hard enough to make noise but Alexis and Peyton made up for it.

I don’t know if they made it until midnight because Papa and I left at ten thirty.We had that chain saw lullaby stuck in our head and we had to sing it.

Happy New Year and God’s Blessings everyone.

Thank you Lord For Grandkids at any time of the year.