Can’t We Just All Get Along

These last few months have been very trying for me. I have had to adjust to my daughter and granddaughter moving out. This alone could have sent me over the edge a few years ago but now I can honestly say I roll with most of the punches that life swings at me. I have felt blessed to live this life God has given me and am so thankful for my many blessings. I try not to sweat the small stuff. That is unless it concerns my sisters or my mother. I can be overly protective and sometimes very judgmental. I remember being afraid and always working. I expect more from all of us because we have so much knowledge of what can go wrong with life. We know about divorce and poverty. We have experienced child abuse and ridicule. I believe every one of us walk around with something from our past that has a tendency to affect our future and I would like to see that cycle end. When my mom married my last stepdad Ward my life changed. Here he is with Beth on her Bethany and Grandpaconfirmation day. For the first time in my life I was never worried about safety and my mothers love or her judgment. He gave me courage and the will to look at things from the outside. To this day if someone says one word about him not being perfect it makes me sad. I know that quiet man had faults,we all do but because of him and his willingness to change our life is so much better. My mom complains about his transgressions sometimes and I feel like she is angry with him. I could do the same thing about my past but what sense does that make. It is what it is. I try to remember the good times. Granted they were far and few at times but they were there. Linda and I having our babies Linette and Loretta. Seeing Lori when Daddy snuck us up to the hospital after one of her many surgeries and the miracle of baby Lana that we would run off the bus to be the first one to hold her. I hold everyone of those memories so close. They are precious to me. I don’t want those girls to ever be hurt. I don’t want my mom to have bad feelings about any of us and I want us to realize how lucky we are to have each other still walking and breathing when there are so many families that are broken by death way to soon.There is a rift in this family right now and the longer it goes on the easier it is to continue. My mom was only seventeen when she started having kids so a lot of times it is like she is a sister instead of a mother. Then there is the fact we are all women and you know how feelings are with the female species. I can get my feelings hurt with The Work Horse and the poor guy doesn’t even know it.

Al 001Here he is in his Sonny Bono days. The love of my life and sometimes the pain in my neck but always my hero. God help him for putting up with me. Sometimes it isn’t about who is right sometimes it is about who can swallow their pride and remember their blessings.That is what I want for my mom and my sisters. I am not the perfect sister or wife or mother. I have made many mistakes but for quite a few years it has gotten easier and easier to let go of bad feelings. It is exhausting to be hurt and mad. When I leave this earth I want my family to remember me with a smile and know whatever I said was because I loved them and wanted what was best for them never to judge. I don’t care who is the favorite or who does the most. All I want is peace and harmony for a family that so deserves it after everything they have been through. The thing about a disagreement that carries on for too long is people tend to forget about the content and just remember the hurt. How stupid is that when you miss the person and your pride won’t let you move forward. I know as a mom I have been mad at my kids and sometimes haven’t talked to them. I can tell you it is the worst feeling in the world for me and for them. We talk about it now and I am so thankful they accept that I made a mistake. Parents should never close a door on their kids. Siblings should never not use the closeness of their past to render the richness of their future. I want to learn from my mistakes and be a blessing to my family even when I insert my foot in my mouth instead of having someone put theirs in my behind.

Last week Bethany and I had a conversation that left an impact on me. She is in the Navy and married a guy without telling us. After we finally met him her dad and I knew he was not going to work as her husband. He quit his job. He stayed home and played video games and thought of ways to spend her money.She made excuses for him every time we talked to her. We were angry. One night in bed The Work Horse told me we were done worrying and she would come to her senses in her own time. He was right and now they are divorced. It took her a long time to right the wrong but she did it. I hope she learned a hard lesson and is never fooled again. I want her to know that we will always be there for her and will listen when she calls for our help. We might not like what she says but the door of communication will always be open. I need to love that girl with everything in me. She is far away in distance but as close as a heartbeat in my mind. I love her no matter what. That is what I want for all of my sisters and my mom.

Getting along is not easy but it is so worth it. Wouldn’t it be terrible if someone died and you never had the chance to mend a broken fence post. That fence is no good to anyone with a post broke.It lets everything out no matter how strong the other posts are. I don’t want to be the broken post that let all the richness of our hard labor of love out. Do you? Common sense is easy if you let it. I hope my grandkids get the chance to see all of our family at one more gathering before it is too late. When I was little my cousins and my aunts were my saving grace. I want my grandkids to know their nana’s family. I don’t want them to meet at funerals. I want them to play at parties. It can be a reality if we just remember our blessings instead of someone’s faults. There was only one perfect person born on this earth and fortunately He is part of this family and forgives us everyday no matter what we do to Him. He answers the phone when we call and opens the door when we stop in. I hope all of us remember that. Our kids and grandkids are watching and learning from us. We are their compass and they need all of us. I don’t want my little Peyton to think that someone is dying because she hasn’t seen them in church. She told me that is what happened when Grandpa Perkie died (Ward). He got sick and couldn’t come to church and then he died. That is her reality. I don’t want to explain adult things to this smart little girl so don’t make me. Give her peace of mind that her family is ok. Let’s make her fence strong and with boundaries of forgiveness and happiness. This family is a bounty of blessings and I hope all of us know it. Blessings everyone and hope to see you soon. Liz

Blame It On The Heat

We have had unbearably  hot weather here in Michigan this last week. I was so looking forward to the storm that I knew would eventually break the heat wave but I never knew it could cause such commotion. So rewind here we go.

Hungarian Work Horse came home from work yesterday with a big grin on his face. He works outside all day and this was the first night in a week that I saw him really smile when he walked in the door. I knew he had a story and I was ready. Sometimes he finds stuff out about the grandkids before I do because our son-in-law Mike works with him. His abbreviated story was that Brooke had to evacuate the house because the smoke detectors kept going off and she didn’t know why. Mike left work in a hurry to help. It seems it was so hot outside and somehow one of the windows in the basement got opened and it kept making the smoke detectors go off. Can you guess who Papa thought the culprit was? I’ll show you a mug shot from this winter.

IMG_0684

We had a bad storm last night and this morning quite early I got a phone call from Brooke that they had no power and she and the kids were coming over. I knew my day wasn’t going to be like I planned and I hopped right in the shower thinking that today would be a good day to take Brooke to see this little Mennonite grocery store I love to go to. I was just getting dressed when the bedroom door popped open and here comes the Little Dude and all he has on is his underwear. His mouth was going so fast with stories about the no power deal I was just cracking up.

“Nana, not a man or a monster open da window but I was wooweed about dat smoke deflector.”

I knew when he said that he never opened the window. He would tell me if he messed with something. Remember I am his girlfriend and he is going to marry me.

Downstairs we go and he is the first in the shower. I help him dry off and people I know what heaven smells like. Little boys that just get out of the shower with shaggy hair and stained feet. I suck in the baby loveliness that will be replaced by dog smell in about an hour. He lets me rock him for a few minutes and then he is off.

We get all the little girls showered and I start telling about the adventure we are going on to my little store. Please don’t judge me but I tell them we are going to a for real Mennonite store and if they look they will see a real Mennonite. Miss P asks if they sell toys there and I answer that she will just have to wait and see. I know she will be my partner when we get to the store because she is so curious about these Mennonites.

We get there and Miss P and Little Dude go with me and we shake Brooke and her two. As we are walking I start to tell her about the Mennonite faith and she asks me if they believe in our God. I tell her yes and let her know that God is everyone’s not just ours. Little Dude is walking a bit ahead of us and he comes running back excited because he thinks he found some pizza ice cream. When we look I start laughing because it is pineapple orange but it does look like pizza on the box.

On our way home Brooke tells me her version of the smoke detector caper. She wasn’t as rattled as her Dad made it sound but she did pack up the kids because she didn’t know why the thing kept going off. Mike had her looking at wiring and everything when she was on the phone with him. She just said it was so hot in that basement she couldn’t believe it and it had a weird smell so she took the kids and left. Mike came home from work and finally  figured out a  window was open and the temperature got so hot in the basement it made the detector go off.She said that they were talking about it later and Miss P was listening. She stated that she and Alexis never opened that window in the back room.

The funny thing about that was nobody said it was the window in the back room.Hmmmmmmmm. It kind of reminded me of a television set that got shot with a pellet gun at my nieces house. Nobody did that either. It must have been a man or a monster.

Old Grandkids 001

Here is a photo of the suspects. Who do you think opened the window and let all that hot summer air in and caused such havoc that their dad had to come home from work to shut a window.

I hope he wasn’t too mad because there is a silver lining in all of this. He got to start his weekend a little early and he got his favorite cheese from the Mennonite store. Let me tell you I don’t care who opened it I love them all and someday when they read this it will come out how it happened. A lesson was learned in the Mennonite store and next time they come over we will thank God for pizza ice cream that tastes like orange pineapple. I am so blessed and sometimes I forget. I let worry take me where I should not go and then I have a day like today that brings me back where I belong. I need to remember to be patient and know that things don’t always happen when I want them to.

image (12)I love you Alisha and McKenzie. We can’t wait to see you.

My Mom The Third Therapist

mom&liz 001My mom and me the first summer of my life.I am sure never in her wildest dreams did she think that some day she would be rubbing my swollen and fever filled leg with the very same hands that spanked me into the rightness of life.

100_0732My Mom is royalty to me because she is now my third therapist.Look how she gets dressed up just when she hears my car pull in the driveway.She knows that those white coats of the other girls now scare me so she tries to make it fun and this is how it goes………

I usually go over to Mom’s when I know that nobody is there because we are a sight for sore eyes.She puts me in her rocking chair,pulls up Wards big ole cloth chair and we begin.Her legs spread apart and my foot in between them.If I wanted to I could push her over like a leaf in the breeze she is so tiny now,but  of course being the grateful daughter I am I don’t and also I still have the fear of Lorna in me like a good daughter should.She is always worried that she is going to hurt me.It is then that I laugh because she really goes at it.I never tell her but she always looks like she is playing  Motor Boat Motor Boat Go So Fast.She is making up movements as she rubs and soon I can tell she is getting tired.It is usually then she tells me she doesn’t have the upper body strength she used to have and to that I think THANK GOD.She means business when she is trying to help me.My mother does nothing half way and when she puts her mind to it nothing stops her.It is at this time that I like to pick her brain and the next thing you know we are finishing each others sentences.I love this time with my Mom.

She is the best not like that Handsome.When Jared was home the last time my knees were really bad.I was laying on the couch and I asked him if he would give me a rub down.It is the least he could do after the years of massaging his sisters and I did when he was sick.I knew he really didn’t want to do it because he was rubbing so hard I was jumping and wreathing in agony and he didn’t even care.I thought any minute he was going to slap me into submission and he was laughing like paybacks are fun.As a matter of fact he even told me my feet were ugly!I tell you people go to your mother not your kids when you need a massage,I think the kids start remembering when you had to correct them and they go back in time and try to get you back.Hee Hee the joke is on him,I made his cookies this week and Brooke ate the last two.

Thank you Mom for being there with a smile when I come limping into your house.We have a lot of laughs and I think we both look ridiculous but that’s us.I got ‘er done and I ‘m getting better everyday.I know my boy loves me even if my feet are ugly and I know my mother doesn’t think anything on me is less than perfect.If she is anything like me and I know she is ,she probably kissed those fat little legs and feet a million times when I was a baby in that picture above.Just like I did Jared’s.Thank you God for my family.