The Home Invasion

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I came home to a quiet house yesterday. As I walked into the house imagine how shocked I was when I opened our bathroom door. A robbery must have happened and I never had Little Dude with me to look for clues. He was having a pajama day with his other fake grandma Ronda.

IMG_0835Yes that’s her. I’m not too worried about her taking my place in the highest anarchy grandma department because her fingers get stuck in her ears like that and it sometimes makes playing with the kids difficult. Hopefully with the new Obama Care she can get that problem fixed. But now back to the invasion…

I had a pretty good idea who the bandit was but I needed help. The only thing missing was a roll of toilet paper and a few wash clothes. In the past there have been toilet paper trails and towel lint on the floor but not today. The robber was getting crafty.

IMG_1047Usually when this occurs there is a trail of Fig Newton’s and some strange music coming from the toy area but today it was quiet.

Then I heard noise coming from down our open stair way. My daughter Alisha had the perpetrator in custody and here is what she looks like.

IMG_3709IMG_1033If you see her near any bathroom area make sure the door is closed and locked. Or better yet ask her to close it and she will because she knows if it is open the temptation will over take her sensibilities and she will commit the crime. She can’t help it. She just loves bathroom paraphernalia.

The Sands Of Time

IMG_0874Last night the Little Dude got himself in a wee bit of trouble. Trouble follows him around like grease on a french fry and I am not sure why. Well, OK I guess I do know why but still. He is the only boy in a field of pink and long hair girl loveliness and sometimes it takes a toll on him. His parents are trying to raise a guy that knows how to treat girls with respect. It is an on going project that is a hard lesson to learn. He is bigger and stronger than his twin sister. They are three and she is a whopping twenty four pounds so you can knock her over by breathing to hard or turning the ceiling fan on or blinking. He does all three with his hands tied behind his back. That little twin girl can be like a yapping Chihuahua with the heart of a super hero. She is not afraid of anything and she is so stinkin cute that her cunning ways are hard to see. I love watching both of them and some of the antics are almost more than this old heart can stand.

 IMG_0334They got in an argument the other day and she hit him right where it counts.

“Brodder, you not my best friend any more and you not my brodder.” Talk about confusing to a Little Dude!

He told his mother what she said and got,”Well, Collin you might not be her best friend today , but you will always be her brother.”

He has to learn that when some one is littler than you they really have the power in the eyes of the adult and rightly so because those little ones can get hurt very easily and his sister has. That doesn’t make it any easier when you are in the heat of the moment. I am so thankful that his parents grew those eyes in the back of their head after they had the kids. They really do keep on top of things but once in a while when you are at a ballgame and big sister is up something happens.

IMG_0030Peyton was playing ball and we were all watching because she hit a home run last time and I wasn’t there. The kids are just learning the fundamentals of the game and everybody is having fun. Her dad’s family are really into sports and they take things very seriously. Me not so much. I am just so thankful that my grandkids have so many fans in the stands. Both sets of grandparents are there plus mom and dad. I love my son-in-laws family and we spend a lot of time together because of the grandkids. I am thankful for them because they love the kids as much as I do. I keep thinking how blessed the kids are because when I was growing up we never had that. There was no money for summer sports and there was always work to do. Even at eight years old I was in the field every day in the summer. I thank God that my grandkids have all of us and I hope He keeps us around for them for a long time. It also helps that there are so many of us to keep track of all the kids on the playground while the game is going on. Sometimes the Little Dude and the Chihuahua can be hard to keep track of.

IMG_0428Little Dude had already been in a sit for five minutes in your car seat in the van because of a sand throwing incident before I even got there. I wondered what happened as Brooke was telling me but didn’t think to much of it. He saw me and sat down beside me and said “I smell something.”

I had gum in my mouth and I laughed because of his sneaky way of asking for a piece.

It was then that I started asking why he had to sit in the van already. Sometimes I feel like a private eye with these kids.

“Why did you have to sit in the van?”

“I was throwing sand,Nana.”

“That’s not good Buddy, you should never throw sand because someone could get it in their eyes and that would really hurt.”

“Nana,dat boy put sand down my back and threw some in my hair.”

I look in his shirt and hair and sure enough he had sand everywhere. It is then and only then I am mad thinking he had to sit in the van because of retaliation. Brooke looks at me all reasonable and says “Mom you always take his side.”

Well, somebody has too and I fit the bill. Even though she is right I can’t help myself. It is hard to be objective when it comes to my grandkids. I really have to work on that. So I thought OK I will try.

“Buddy that wasn’t nice of that kid but you still can’t throw stuff back. That is how people get hurt. If someone does something to you walk away so you don’t get in trouble.”

I could have choked on those words but I said them. I really don’t think that it is so bad defending yourself. That’s what we did when we were little. It was called survival. We had to learn that if you played rough you suffered the consequences. You treated people the way you wanted to be treated and by golly if you wanted sand threw at you go ahead and throw sand. I know that is not how it is done today and I understand but really I can’t help myself when it comes to any of my grandkids. Some kids are bullys and I think Collin encountered one. The real thing here was that he learned how to handle it.

The game went on and after a while I told him he could go play back in the sand. I was watching him take his cowboy boot off and fill it to the brim with the stuff knowing he was looking for buried treasure and dog bones. That’s what he does. It runs in the family. Miss P came up to bat and I was watching her my heart pounding and pleading that she would hit the ball when all of a sudden Collin comes running heaven bent as fast as his little legs could carry him with a sand thrower right behind him.  Collin turns on a dime and sits right next to me knowing he is safe. The kid has his hand raised up in the air ready to attack. In my Nana save you voice as mean as I can I look at him and say “ Don’t throw sand.”

The criminal takes off like a scared rabbit and I don’t care. I sneak a look at Brooke and smile. I am wondering if she remembers when her brother threw a corn cob at Darcy Talaski in retaliation.

My reward for heading him off at the pass you ask? It was my Little Dude all snuggled next to me knowing he was vindicated. He knew there was a new sheriff in town and she was nothing to mess with. I know some day when he reads this he will laugh like I am now. My Little Dude and me. It is pure bliss. I love you Collin Michael Merchant even when you have to learn not to throw sand.

 

 

 

 

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Double Trouble And Twice The Fun

IMG_0657The twins are really vocal now and conversations go in every direction.A few nights ago when I was over visiting the conversation took a turn for the ditch.

They love to do what they call their homework’s with me when I come over.I now spend millions of dollars on work books so we can have fun at the table.We had two new books on thinking and they were loving it.The little dude gets possessive with me at times and tries to get Landyn out of the picture but I won’t let him.As we were deciding if the horse goes in the barn or the house our conversation went like this,

“Nana,Lannon said da F word.”

I look at Landyn sitting next to me and my body immediately turns hot.She looks like a little angel with that smile she has that is the exact replica of her mother’s.She is so happy to be included I don’t know if she even knew he was trying to throw her under the bus.I am also getting sick to my stomach thinking he is too little to know what the F word is and mad that he even knows about it.

“Collin that is enough.”

“A ha Lannon said da F word in my room last night and I kicked her out!”

Now Landyn is looking at me worried because they are not allowed to say things like that and she knows it.She looks scared and I am wondering how this word got into their vocabulary.Nobody swears around here and if they get caught by their mother I have seen her bring out a bar of soap.It has happened to Collin because I witnessed it about six months ago when he said the slang for feces and it wasn’t poop.

It is then little Landyn pipes up and says,”But I did Nana I did.”

“I don’t want that kind of language around here and if you two are going to talk like that I am going home.”

Landyn looks nervous and doesn’t say any more but not the little dude.He looks right at me hoping she is in BIG TROUBLE because I said I would go home and continues with “A ha she said fart and I kicked her out.”

All I can think is thank you Lord in heaven that fart is the four letter word that my babies think is so bad.It is so hard to keep them innocent even at three because they are out in the world and I hate that.I am so grateful my grandkids have Brooke and Mike and at this moment I treasure them as parents to the twins.

How did the night end do you ask? We had a discussion on the proper way to say passing gas and I have to say it turned into laughing and fart noises.As I always say thank you Lord for grandkids.They have the ability to send me into orbit one second and bring me back the next.

If You Plant The Seed Be Prepared To Harvest The Fruit Or The Reminiscing’s of Teen Age Excuses

wholesome girl 001Oh,how glad I am not in the day to day of raising kids!The previous post comments brought back some of the most ridiculous times of my kids.I could have strangled them with their own hair I got so mad at them and like my niece Jami if there was a wrong doing that I found out about there was a price to pay.Sometimes my nerves were so bad when they looked me in the face and lied I could have sent them into orbit.I realize taking the low road to Truthsville is not easy but I always told them if they were brave enough at the time to do it they should be brave enough to own up to it.And still I would get senseless and ridiculous reasons as to what happened.Here a few of my favorites…….

I am going to Sebewaing to get construction paper for a school project and while they are gone a restaurant in Bad Axe 30 miles away calls and says they left their wallet there.

What,that wasn’t mine!(insert anything illegal)

I can’t be like (anybody who isn’t in trouble at the moment)you always loved them best.

I don’t know where that came from,I never saw it in my life.

I was so tired from work that is why I was trying to crawl in the roll top desk for a nap while pretending I was shaking the French fry fryer at McDonalds.

A cat,a dog,an armadillo ran out in front of the car and so I had to take the ditch.You should be proud I saved a life.

But,Mom I love him and he is so good.

My friend bought it for me.

I’m sick with the flu.

Dad says that it is OK.

I never meant it.

I learned a hard lesson and I will never do that again,so isn’t that punishment enough.

You never believe me.

So and So’s parents don’t care if we do that.

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Can you think of anything else to add? I could have wrote a novella with this subject having had four teenagers under my belt.I know they thought they were always pulling one over on me and maybe sometimes they did,but not very often and as much as it killed their dad and me we always made them be responsible for their actions.We didn’t care what other people thought or said we just knew it was the right thing to do.I am so glad we did even though at the time it was soo hard and I could have hung them up by their toenails.I hope they all feel like that now too.

Now kids a few words of advice if you have kids of your own or nieces and nephews that you love.It tickles me to death that you are walking the very same walk that your mother and I have.Enjoy,relax,and breathe.What you say you can’t because one of the kids hate you for a well deserved punishment? Remember those feelings a short time ago were directed at your very own mother,so you know they will get over it.

Grandmas here is a little tidbit for you,your grandkids are going to need you now more than ever.They think we are from the olden days and have no idea we were teens at one time.Just think how smart we sound to them now even in our doddering years.They know our faith in God sustains us and we are priceless to them.Your kids are going to try to keep your grandkids on the straight and narrow because that is what we taught them.They can’t remember at this moment in time we have seen it all,done it all,and lived through it all.

We are family no matter what and kids don’t come with a no return policy.They are our future.I for one am glad of that.The only thing I wish is that each one of the kids get to raise a kid like they were be it good or bad.It makes you grow and you realize you can do anything.Oh my stars, I am woman hear me roar.I am mother hear me correct and I am grandma feel me love.Those songs from yester year come in handy.Can you hear Aretha  singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T?It is a hard lesson to be learned but one eventually that will never be forgotten.Your kids will thank you for it someday,even if they can’t stand you now.I know because all my kids love me and if we lived through it anybody can.