My Mom The Third Therapist

mom&liz 001My mom and me the first summer of my life.I am sure never in her wildest dreams did she think that some day she would be rubbing my swollen and fever filled leg with the very same hands that spanked me into the rightness of life.

100_0732My Mom is royalty to me because she is now my third therapist.Look how she gets dressed up just when she hears my car pull in the driveway.She knows that those white coats of the other girls now scare me so she tries to make it fun and this is how it goes………

I usually go over to Mom’s when I know that nobody is there because we are a sight for sore eyes.She puts me in her rocking chair,pulls up Wards big ole cloth chair and we begin.Her legs spread apart and my foot in between them.If I wanted to I could push her over like a leaf in the breeze she is so tiny now,but  of course being the grateful daughter I am I don’t and also I still have the fear of Lorna in me like a good daughter should.She is always worried that she is going to hurt me.It is then that I laugh because she really goes at it.I never tell her but she always looks like she is playing  Motor Boat Motor Boat Go So Fast.She is making up movements as she rubs and soon I can tell she is getting tired.It is usually then she tells me she doesn’t have the upper body strength she used to have and to that I think THANK GOD.She means business when she is trying to help me.My mother does nothing half way and when she puts her mind to it nothing stops her.It is at this time that I like to pick her brain and the next thing you know we are finishing each others sentences.I love this time with my Mom.

She is the best not like that Handsome.When Jared was home the last time my knees were really bad.I was laying on the couch and I asked him if he would give me a rub down.It is the least he could do after the years of massaging his sisters and I did when he was sick.I knew he really didn’t want to do it because he was rubbing so hard I was jumping and wreathing in agony and he didn’t even care.I thought any minute he was going to slap me into submission and he was laughing like paybacks are fun.As a matter of fact he even told me my feet were ugly!I tell you people go to your mother not your kids when you need a massage,I think the kids start remembering when you had to correct them and they go back in time and try to get you back.Hee Hee the joke is on him,I made his cookies this week and Brooke ate the last two.

Thank you Mom for being there with a smile when I come limping into your house.We have a lot of laughs and I think we both look ridiculous but that’s us.I got ‘er done and I ‘m getting better everyday.I know my boy loves me even if my feet are ugly and I know my mother doesn’t think anything on me is less than perfect.If she is anything like me and I know she is ,she probably kissed those fat little legs and feet a million times when I was a baby in that picture above.Just like I did Jared’s.Thank you God for my family.

In The Land of Torcher Therapy Or Give Me Just Five More

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Come into my web says the spider to the fly.That’s what it feels like every Monday Wednesday and Friday for me.All of you that read The Blog know that I have had surgery on my left knee or as Alexis told her friend,be careful around my nana she just had her knee removed.It has been an experience that I will never forget and mostly from my two favorite therapists Deanna and Denise.The D&D can be heartless in there restoration of your body while at the same time looking like they sing in the church choir.Isn’t that cool that you can kind of see me in the mirror.I hope Denise doesn’t notice because she will tell me STAND UP STRAIGHT.

IMG_0268This is Deanna.I have her about half the time and those hands of hers worked wonders on my leg when it was full of fluid.She massaged and pulled and prodded until I am not kidding you I had to go to the restroom three times before I left the building.She can be verrrrrrry sneaky though as she makes you lean against a wall with a piece of rubber around your leg pulling and pushing while talking about her poor body being sore from horse back riding.I think to myself,well, let me help you,I know a good physical therapist that will get those kinks out.And here she is—-

IMG_0269Yup, that’s Denise the king pin of the operation and if you run into her be very afraid.She has various methods of pain inflicting devices and she is not afraid to use them.

 

IMG_0270Here is her stairway to hell,with the chariot of abuse right behind it.She would gleefully tell me quit wobbling,you can do it,you are the queen of compensation,and you are going to have to work harder on bending that knee.If I could have got my knee up high enough I would have shown her just exactly how much I enjoyed her encouragement.

IMG_0271After I would be soaking in my own sweat from the abuse they would take me back here.It looks comfortable enough,right.WRONG!Here they would put me in the most excruciating pain I have ever endured trying to get my knee to bend to the bed.Just one more set,just one more set,just one more set.I would be soooooo good and all the while plotting in my head how in the name of all that is Holy could I get them back.Especially that Denise.She was like the Gestapo and I was not German if you know what I mean.

All kidding aside these girls are about the two biggest blessings I have had in my life.Denise says we met in the hospital and I don’t even remember her being there but she remembered me.She told me I was strong from the get go and she pushes me because she knows I can do it.When she says it,it gives me that little extra boost I need to get that last set done.The D&D are great motivators and at the same time caring.Thank you girls and God bless you for putting up with me.

So if you have someone that needs physical therapy send them to my two D’s.I know Deanna will be there with a smile.I am not so sure about that Denise.There’s a rumor that she might get a new job.I heard it was for a prison………………..Like I said be very afraid.

Got ‘er Done

IMG_0149The new bionic knee.Right now it is sore and tender but I am glad she’s in and ready to get her  on the road again.Those beautiful stitches came out today and I am sure that is going to help immensely.I am proud to tell you that the leg is very swollen and will be a lot better looking in the days to come.My legs are a lot smaller than they look here.(Disclaimer)All the photos are taken with my lovely guy Cam.

I got a lot of new toys and a few laughs with my new knee and when I tell you I always wanted a metallic blue colored vehicle I never in a million years thought it would look like this.How do you like the carrier in the front?

IMG_0145 The day Hungarian Work Horse brought it to the hospital it had two front wheels that I made him remove because I wanted a walker not a stroller and that is what it reminded me of.I traded that in already and am now using a generic cane that Brooke got for me on Monday while I was at physical therapy.Not the claw cane either,just a plain jane.When we got home I had Brooke help me stage the thing so it looked like I fell down our back stairs to scare Al and it worked but it back fired too.My mom apparently came over to visit and came to the back door.I guess she picked the thing up and didn’t see me so she thought I was sleeping and went on her merry way.She has never said a word to me about it.I could have got a stern talking to for that so I if anybody sees her don’t mention it to her.

Later on Brooke picked me up and to Miss P’s game we went.Oh,ya, and we staged the walker again before we left laughing all the way.I love it when your kids are in a conspiracy with you.This time it worked.It wasn’t long after we were at the game that Brooke got a call from her dad wanting to know if she had me with her. She didn’t let him sweat too long and then handed the phone to me.I was laughing and he was yelling telling me he was calling my sister Linda and my mother and then 911 if he didn’t find me. It was then that I realized he thought I fell and someone hauled me off to the hospital again.My poor baby.

I don’t remember much of the hospital stay at all and I am not kidding.The stories I am hearing is that I was planning a family reunion and birthday parties and doing a lot of bawling.I guess I tried to feed everybody and save food off my tray for Al.I don’t remember any of it but I am proud I was a good hostess even when I was drugged up.Anyway, I hope you all got enough to eat.

I really wrote this post to say thank you to everyone for coming to see me even though I don’t remember you were there and those of you that didn’t that I thought I saw thank you, too.I even thought that some people came to see me that are dead.Hallucination is weird.

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IMG_0142These are some of the beautiful things that I got in the hospital.I got all of the gift givers mixed up and Brooke helped me figure out who gave me what so I promise to get some notes in the mail soon.If I thank you for something you didn’t get for me just be thankful you got a thank you.

I mean this with all of my heart.My family is the best in the world.My Brooke brought Lexie to the hospital to see me and I remember that.I know that means something about our Heavenly Father taking care of the little ones.Can you imagine if I was acting like a lunatic in front of that little girl!She thinks I am the greatest and I don’t want that to change.I want her to remember me like I remember my Grandma Jahr.I still love every memory I have of her.

I want my mom and my sisters especially, Linda and Lori to know how much they mean to me and  how much I love them.My beautiful niece Sarah,too.They truly know the meaning of this scripture I will leave you with.

    If anyone does not provide for his relatives,and especially for his immediate family,he has denied the faith worse than an unbeliever.1Timothy5:8.

You can’t say that about this group.They are my earthly blessings and I can’t believe they put up with me sometimes,but I am so thankful that they do.

The MRI

mri machineThis past week I had an MRI done on my left knee.It was an experience that I will not soon forget.I’ve never had one of these things done and thought it would be a piece of cake.You don’t have to fast or get an IV so easy peasy puddin pie and all that happy stuff or so I thought.

  The first problem I encountered was just getting to the place in one piece.I am directionally challenged to say the least and the appointment was for 10 pm at night.Of course I am going by myself because Hungarian Work Horse is on horribly long work hours and I can’t ask him to go.He sends me off with a kiss and you’ll be fine.It is only a 30 minute drive so I take off an hour and a half early,just in case.I know that sounds ridiculous but my sister and I once were coming home from Saginaw and almost went to the Mackinaw Bridge.After much horn blowing and my nerves frayed because of all the semis on the road I make it there with 10 minutes to spare.

I had enough paper work to fill out that when I was done I had writers cramp and this was funny because I was preregistered.They now know all my dirty little health secrets and who to call if the thing blows up or something.

  I get in there and of course I have to disrobe and to my surprise the man gives me a pair of hospital pants that will fit an eight hundred pound man.He also must be at least seven foot tall.Try walking in those things when you limp like the Mafia has busted both of your knee caps.

I get in the room for the test and the guy says it will take about thirty five minutes and I have to lay there perfectly still.I am nervous because I get bad leg cramps and muscle spasms.This is not gonna be easy.He then asks me if I would like to listen to some music and before I can answer him he slaps a pair of headphones on my ears.head phonesYikes!I am getting more concerned by the minute because they now have little postings on the machine that tell you don’t look at the beams because it can harm your eyes and I only have one good eye to start with and a morbid curiousity to what can harm them.Then I think maybe if I look just a little bit I can kill two birds with one stone and have laser done on my bad eye.Probably not a good idea as I have to drive home by myself in the dark.The honking would be more upsetting if I didn’t know where it was coming from.

The guy asks if I like country music and this is what I am thinking

Alan JackosnAlan Jackson2Just insert my head where his wife’s is then we will look exactly alike.Instead I get music I have never heard of  stuff recorded before I was born,you know like before they had electricity for the guitars.It was miserable.I think I will get through this and also appreciate all kinds of music in my next life.

About fifteen minutes go by and my muscles are doing what they do and I am cramping up and so I start to move just a fraction on an inch and nothing happens so I think OK a tiny bit of movement must be alright.My foot is now itching and my nose has a hair on it but I am sooooo in control.Moments like this I can’t believe how focused I can be.I am solid,I am amazingly still,I am like Lot’s wife when she looked back.Then my ankle moves and all of a sudden the music stops and the guy tells me in the headphones,how did he get on the radio anyway,that he has to do part of the test over because I moved.That guy put those headphones on me so he could HOLLER at me if I did something wrong.The nerve!

I finish the test and I am on my way home.

knee photoI know I know they look pretty good for a woman my age.Too bad that’s not me. Now it’s on to Thursday to see the orthopedic guy to tell me what the test results are,that is if I can find his office.