My Other Job

 

My job as grandma was something I learned by practice and observing.The two grandmas I had were wonderful and that is what I try to mold my grandmaing after.My Grandma Hahn loved kids and she was a realist when it came to loving us.She laughed when we asked her why she was fat and was very laid back.Grandma Jahr on the other hand was a no nonsense get your work done kind of farm woman.If I would have asked her why she was fat she would have gave me a talking to that would have made my ears burn.

grandma 001ghahnlinda 001Grandmas Jahr and Hahn

I hope that I am a combination of both in the love department but in looks I want the kids to think I resemble Sally Field.I don’t think that is too much to ask after the job hats I wear from time to time.Here are just a few.

1 Maid In Disguise – They need one when the bedroom toys get out of hand and the clothes haven’t found their way into the hamper. One night the kids and me were playing a game when their mom went upstairs to put laundry away.When she came down I felt like we were at the police station sitting there with a burning light bulb hanging from a wire over a metal table and five folding chairs.

2 Private Eye – I have single handedly found out who Miss P’s boyfriend is.It is a closely guarded secret because her dad says she can’t have one until she is thirty.She has a ways to go because she turns seven this year.

3 Driver – My job when mom has class after school or two kids have to be at different places at the same time. It comes in handy so I can give the kids driving lessons in the driveway. I am smiling now thinking of three year old Collin on my lap while I pulled my car up mom’s driveway and my sister thought he was driving the car alone.

4 Referee – I make sure that the fights are fair and swift.It doesn’t matter if you are smaller than your opponent I am always impartial to the outcome.I don’t like fights but sometimes it does rear it’s ugly head even if it is the baby. Unlike parents I don’t have any history of who got to do it last time.

5 Emergency Room Doctor – I can think on my feet faster than a runner at the Olympics when it comes to remedies. My kids did it all so I have experience in calmly administering to the hurt.Long gone are the days that I ran from my own kids when they were hurt.Who knew I was in training for the grandkids!

6 Bakery Chef – I use that as an excuse but in a way it is true.If they need any baked goods for school my number is on speed dial.Plus I send almost everything I make over to their house because I don’t want to eat it.Their Papa always says “I wish my last name was Merchant” when I am walking out the door with a cheese cake. Little does he know that I do it for our health. I don’t want us looking like two pigs so overweight we can’t even be butchered for food.

7 Spiritual Advisor –  I love it that they all know there is Somebody watching over them.I let them pray on and on and on even when I know it is a tactic to have me stay with them a little longer.You haven’t experienced anything until you see a three year old boy pretend church. The same church he got hauled out the day before.

8 Nana – The best job of all. I never knew a Nana was like a grandma only better. It brings gales of screaming and smiles when you walk in the door. I can make a boring day turn into excitement just by pulling into the driveway. I am a supernanny only related and believe me my little love bugs need it.

The list could go on and on and if you think of anything please add to it. My life is so full with these beautiful creatures and there is more yet to come. I feel so blessed that after a life of hoping my grandmas would come and save me I get to watch the loves of my life have a normal childhood with two parents that love them and grandparents that are just there for support. This is the blessing I get. It took a while and I know I have made mistakes but on the whole I know that we have the real deal. We are the family that I longed for so long ago. People say that I sometimes spoil my grandkids but I don’t care. Somebodies got to do it and it might as well be me. That’s my other job and it’s my favorite.

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Just look at this. Now that is love in the best form. The beginning of a new adventure. Will she love me like the big kids do? I hope so. I know I love her and I can’t wait for the day that she too runs to the door when I pull in the driveway. I just love a job that pays you in happiness and hugs and kisses. I may not be rich but I am a millionaire in the grandkid department. Blessings everyone.

The Mole

I can’t stand the word mole.Every time I hear it I think of beady little eyes on a rodent.I can’t even stand the word when it refers to Mexican food and I love Mexican food.The problem with that is I have several moles on my neck and I am always thinking that I am going to have them removed the next time I go to the doctor but I never do.I really don’t like the word mole even when it refers to the ones on your body.Enter the Little Dude……….

IMG_0428This Sunday in church I had Collin on my lap.Our church was packed because we were having a Ham Dinner and it is quite well known in our area.I am always a little concerned because you never know what is going to happen in our peanut gallery and especially when there is a lot of people we don’t know.No worries until the pastor started preaching.Collin was laying his head on my shoulders and I heard him whispering something.

“What did you say,Honey?”

“A worm,Nana.”

“No, that is just a mole on the back of my neck,now leave it alone.”

He lays his head back down and is just patting my neck in the back when all of a sudden I felt a sharp pinch and he pulled the mole on the back of my neck right off.In church.With a man behind us.Watching the whole thing.I let a yip out of me as I grabbed his hand and sure enough,there was my ugly mole in his sweaty little palm.Just as he was about to pop the thing in his mouth I grabbed the snotty Kleenex he had in his pocket and quickly disposed of the evidence.With eyes as big as saucers he says “I got it.!”

Thank God it wasn’t a bleeder because I don’t know what would have happened.Of course he wants to look behind my head to see my mole less hairline and I won’t let him.I finally give him his little snack bag to distract him and it works.I guess today he was a surgeon.He was so good after that.I only heard one moo out of him for the rest of the service.Guess what his kindergarten teacher mother packed in the snack bag.

To the poor man that was sitting in back of us I just have to say I am sorry.That is how it goes when the little Dude is around.He doesn’t mean for things to happen,they just do.I assure you it was just a mole and I do not have worms of any sort.Just moles and one less to boot.Our church is a nice one and sir don’t be afraid to visit us again.My only suggestion is you might want to sit more up to the front by my sister and brother- in- law, Donnie and Marie.