Today is the first Sunday night you will not be tucked into your bed here and I miss you.I am crying as I type this and I hardly ever cry anymore. I went to your Mom’s work and told her you had to go to your dad’s. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I feel like I have failed you miserably and I want you to know that you are so loved by your Momma and the rest of us. These last six months have been a gift from God. I don’t know what is in store for us and my heart is heavy right now but I know things can change in the blink of an eye and that is what I am hoping for.
Your mom loves you so much. She is trying to be able to be with you no matter what. Remember that. I am writing this so some day you know she has fought for you since the moment she knew about you. You are so blessed to have such a strong mother. No matter what anyone tells you she wants you all the time because you have a bond that only mothers and daughters can have not to hurt someone else. She wants you because God made you in her womb and she kept you safe there until you were ready to come out. She loves your fat little feet and your soft peaches cheeks. She loves your laughter and your giggles. She just loves you. She will tell you with her own mouth some day when you are big like her that she never did anything to ever hurt you only what she thought was best. She had to leave your dad’s house so she could be healthy and take good care of you. She did not want to break up your family and she did the right thing. It wasn’t something she did lightly and we had many conversations before she left.
Now for this, I want you to know that I tried to talk to your dad about taking you away from your mom for a week and then him missing you for a week. I think that there could be a solution to this but tonight he couldn’t listen to me. My only hope is that peoples heart soften to the point that they start thinking about you and nothing else. There is a story in the Bible about two women that were fighting over a baby and they had to go to the king to decide who was the real mother. The king told them he would cut the baby in half and that would solve the problem. The real mother then told the king to give the baby to the other woman because she couldn’t bare to have her baby hurt. That wise king then knew who the real mother was and she got her baby back. This is my hope for you. Your aunt is not your mother, your dad’s girlfriend is not your mother and I am not your mother. You have a mother that loves you with everything in her no matter what anyone tells you. I want you to have access to both of your parents but especially your mother.
Now as I close know that every night you are tucked in your bed here that we say your prayers and I am missing that right now. I love how you fold your little hands and look up at us with that grin. Your mom and I will say them for you until you get back. We love you my little sweetheart and so does your crazy dog Boots.
Love, Your Nana
I have to tell your mom this McKenzie. I love you Alisha. Know your dad and I are in your corner. We are proud and so blessed to have you as our girl. I know how humbling it was for you to ask for our help and how hard it was for you to ask God back in your life. That’s what is so great about giving up the old and putting on the new. You grow and God will sustain you through it all. He will put people in your life that will help you, Always remember that I don’t care what other people say and never have. You are my sweet sweet girl and I love you just as much today as I did when you were little like my Peaches.