For The Love Of McKenzie

IMG_0996This little girl is in the middle of a war and she doesn’t even know it. It about knocks the breath of me to know that she is loved by many and fought over by two families.

About two weeks ago I came home from work with a note on our bar in the kitchen from my daughter. It said, I am here now but McKenzie is not. Alisha left the residence that her and her boyfriend lived in and he wouldn’t let her take her baby. Her heart was broken and she was afraid. After five agonizing days the police picked this little girl up and returned her to her mother. Now through the court system they have to figure out what is best for McKenzie and I can see already it is going to be an uphill climb because these parents cannot talk to each other. There is bitterness and anger and for that I am so sorry. I hate that my daughter has to feel like this. She is such a good little mama and I am proud of the way she takes care of her daughter. Her voice will be forever seared in my brain when she would call and just sob,”Mom, I just want my baby.” I heard this on her way to work and sometimes on her way home from work. She just wanted her baby. It was gut wrenching and I couldn’t sleep just trying to think of ways to console her. I knew that she would get her baby because her baby belongs with her I just didn’t know when. I am so thankful that McKenzie is with us and that she is such a happy little girl.

Through this Alisha has learned many things. She now tells me she wished that she would have listened to her dad and me when she was eighteen. We didn’t want her to live with somebody before she was married and she now knows that sneaking around to meet her now babies father was not the right thing to do. I don’t know if she thought that we wouldn’t  approve of him or if in her heart she knew that he wasn’t good for her but the hard truth is they should never have been a couple. She tells me that she has regrets but she did get a miracle out of the deal and that is McKenzie and I tend to agree with her. I love having the baby here because we hardly see hardly ever saw them when her and the babies father were together. She is a little miracle and I am so glad Alisha has her. McKenzie is Alisha’s hope for the future and her help in the journey back to her family. We have both of them in our hub to stay and there is no doubt in my mind that Alisha feels the same way. I can’t worry about the outcome of this mess but I can enjoy and rejoice in the love my family. I know Alisha’s lesson in this is a hard one, undeniably more than she thinks she can handle but I know she can do it. This family won’t let her down. She is protected by her dad and my love and support no matter what. We have already gotten so many blessings with her coming back home.She talks to me and never seems to tire of it. She wants to do the right thing and she wants to go back to school. Her goals are attainable with her families help and I want her to know that we will help in any way we can. We love her and no matter what she did in her past and we are proud of her. She too is a miracle.

Lessons in life are hard and going through something like this always leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I don’t like conflict and I don’t like to fight. I want the right thing for Alisha and McKenzie to happen and I believe it will. This last week I started thinking about when the girls were in high school and their petty arguments would want me to rip out my hair. How those days look so simple now. I pray that I do the right thing always for my girl and my granddaughter. Alisha if you are reading this right now just know it is going to be alright. Your future is just waiting to spill goodness on you and McKenzie. You will someday look back and this will be a memory not a nightmare like it is now. You now walk the walk of a mother and God loves a good mother. When Jesus was hanging on the cross He loved His mother so much that He gave her another son. That shows me how much compassion God has for a mother suffering. I have thought of this many times and I want you to remember it. Use your lips for kissing your daughter (and your mother wouldn’t mind one once in a while) and good things will happen. God gave you McKenzie and He won’t take her away.

My hope in all of this is that young people really think hard before they make choices. I find it comforting that my daughter now knows that her dad and I always wanted the best for her. Simply put she is ours even if someone called us adopted parents in a document. Blood doesn’t make family. Love does.

18 thoughts on “For The Love Of McKenzie

  1. I’m so sorry this is happening. Your family is in my thoughts. What a beautiful child McKenzie is! I can only imagine how hard it is to watch your daughter go through all of this. Hopefully everything will work out in the child’s best interest. Just keep that love and support coming.

  2. Oh LexiesNana….my heart broke for your daughter and her wanting her baby. What a horrible feeling. I’m glad you are all together in this and she is not walking through this alone. God bless you all.

  3. Oh, this is so good and so heart-wrenching! I know several young women who are going through similar things, wishing now they had listened to their parents. Alisha is blessed to have such a loving, supportive family–and McKenzie is, too! I hope and pray that God will work all things for good for you all, who love Him!

  4. Oh Liz, I am so sorry to hear about all this “stuff”. Please let Alisha know that my prayers and thoughts are with her and McKenzie. As you know, there is a reason for everything that happens to us, and although we may not understand why at the time, just know that this is an opportunity God is giving us, which will enable us to grow and build character. God sends me all sorts of opportunities to grow and at times I swear God must think I’m much stronger than I realize, because there’s times I feel just like Job and I want to crumble. But God won’t lead us to it and then leave us – heck no – He’ll lead us through it! Alisha and McKenzie are already so very blessed to have you in their corner. Love ya all, Kim

  5. My heart goes out to your whole family as we have all made mistakes in our lives God still has a plan for us and will never let us down. Some of us have to learn the hard way and I for one am so happy were I am today and even tho I made mistakes in my life I had 2 wonderful children that love me and I wouldn’t have them if things would of been different in my life. I don’t have any regrets cause of my past cause I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I had not had to go through some of the things I did to make me a stronger person and a love for my Lord as I have today. Alisha you will be fine and your little lady will be loved by all. It’s a hard thing to go through Sis and I’ll be praying for you all. XOXOXO

    • It is a hard thing to go through but go through it we must. Linda thank you for always loving my kids the way you and Greg do. I know everything is gonna be alright but it is sure nice to hear from people that love us and care about us.

  6. Liz, You are so brave for chronicling these moments in your family. I love how you can communicate with your daughter through your words–and with the gift of hindsight. I also love the end of this post–so powerful. Blood does not make a family. Love does. Put those words somewhere you can see them everyday:)

    • Thanks for saying that. This is very trying right now and really something very hard for me. I am like a mother bear when it comes to my kids. It seems that sometimes I get wisdom and also comfort from people like you when I really need it. I want little McKenzie to know how much she is loved by all. I hate that kids have to be affected by the worlds idea of what is best for them. My hope is that good will prevail and she is always safe.

  7. My heart breaks reading this! What a great mom you are to love and support her through such a terrible time. I can’t even imagine. I will be praying for all of you.

  8. Your last sentence is so very true, about family. I am sorry that your daughter is having to go through this and that McKenzie is getting caught up in it. I hope that they find a way to work it all out so that there is as little damage and heartbreak as possible.

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