Driving Miss Lizzy

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When do you quit appreciating your mother? What makes you think that your mother doesn’t have feelings? Why do some people put their feelings ahead of their own mothers?

These are questions I ask myself and I haven’t got the answers to them. My mom and I have been though more than most in our lives with each other and I guess some of her decisions I have never understood and never will but she is still my mom and I am grateful to have her. Are you that way with your mother? I love it that I still have my mom and cherish the time we have together because I know that many people don’t have their moms anymore. Once they are gone all you have is memories and they are wonderful but there is nothing like the presence of a warm body and a live voice. My mom has beat cancer twice and yet there are some who take it for granted that she is always going to be here. It pains me to think of people that will move heaven and earth to go to someone’s funeral but never take the time to visit or call them when they are alive. The corpse doesn’t care that you are at a funeral but the person still living remembers how much time you have sent their way. I will never understand how you can’t take five minutes out of your day to pick up the phone and show your mother some love. My mom and I have a difference of opinion on more than one thing but most of the time she doesn’t know it. I let her talk and most of the time I laugh at what she says because she is so adamant about her opinions. That I still have the opportunity to hear her voice when she says them is wonderful. She still loves me and she is still kicking, so it is a win win situation for me. I don’t try to debate her because after all she is the mother. She is full of life and she is a great grandma. She loves my kids and the ones that don’t spend any time with her should be ashamed. They will never know until she is gone what they missed. A busy life doesn’t give you a pass for ignoring your mother.Her life style doesn’t give you a reason to not appreciate her in a physical way. You don’t like something she does or says is no excuse for not spending time with her. She is the first person that you think  of when the going gets tough or you need some money. Mothers around the world love their kids in spite of what they do not because of what they do. To ignore that is a travesty because some day when kids do the same to them they will wonder why and not understand how it could have happened. Your mother is human and not perfect,but most of the time she is your biggest supporter.

When I was growing up every summer we got to go to my cousins to spend a week. I loved it because I never had any responsibilities and I was away from any drama that might have been going on. I loved my sisters but it was nice to be a kid like my cousins. My sister Linda was just the opposite. She had a belly ache as soon as she was away from mom. She would be sick until they were together again. I wish adult children knew what that felt like. Linda didn’t care how mom lived or what she did, she just missed her.She appreciated that she only had that one mom and was not the same when she wasn’t with her.It didn’t matter if mom didn’t do what she wanted. She knew that the most comfortable place in her world was in the arms of her mother and I believe she feels that way to this very day.

My mom has been hauling me around for about a month now. Today I told her that I wanted to give her some gas money for all of the time we have spent in her car. It made her mad because she said it was time we got to spend together and she wants to help us out like we do her when she needs it. We have had many discussions in her Acadia on the way to physical therapy and her main concern is the time that people give her.She loves her family and wants to be with them. I agree. Today the conversation was about my hair. It needs a cut pretty bad and I can’t stand long enough to do it myself like I usually do. Mom told me she would trim my bangs for me and I smiled. She said she doesn’t cut her own hair anymore because she can’t see good enough. I looked at her and asked why in all that is holy did she think I would let her cut my bangs when she couldn’t see good enough to cut her own. That is when we started with the horse laughs. Long and braying and tears running down my face. We talked about the frost on the trees and how beautiful it was as she hollered at drivers on the road. I laughed some more. Mom was just a kid when she had me barely seventeen and I am sure she kissed my little feet and knees  like I did my kids and here she is still helping me with my new knees. I won’t let her kiss them but I bet she would if she thought she could get away with it. She loves me unconditionally just like Jesus. She’ll be the first to tell you she is no saint but I don’t care. I am going to get as much as I can out of this mother ride because like everything it doesn’t last forever and I want no regrets.

If I leave you with anything today I hope you have a new understanding of mothers and time. Don’t be a right fighter with her because you are not her mother,she is yours. Cherish her like Jesus did His. As He was hanging on the cross He gave His mother a son. That is how much He cherished Mary. He didn’t care that she wasn’t perfect. He loved her because of it. Can you say that about yours?

IMG_0010 I love you Mom. Thank you.

19 thoughts on “Driving Miss Lizzy

    • I couldn’t believe it when she said that. There’s more too. After we got to therapy she brought a whole bunch of magazines from home and replaced the ones in the magazine rack because she said they were outdated. She then took the old ones from the rack home and I was scared we were going to get picked up for shoplifting worn out magazines!

  1. This is a great post–and a great title! Your story about the bangs made me laugh! I’m so glad you can look past your mom’s little foibles and love and respect her as she deserves.

    • I know how blessed I am to have my mother. Nobody is perfect and I want people to remember how much a mother does for her kids. If you are a mother yourself you know how easy your kids can hurt you and I don’t want to do that to mom. I want her to feel like she is a blessing because she is. What she does is her business not mine.

  2. Thank you for the reminder!
    You warmed my heart, and I will cherish my mom even more thanks to your well written post!

  3. I laughed and I cried reading this lovely post about your Mum. You’re right to enjoy her while you can. I don’t know how old she is – but its wonderful that she’s still able to drive you around and offer to cut your hair heh heh (I’m really sorry to hear about your knee – its to late to read that post now. I’ll be back)

    I cried too because my Mum died 1 1/2 years ago. We used to speak on the phone every day – as long as I got home from work by 7pm I’d phone her because it was 10pm her time. I can’t tell you how silent the silence is. But I have a head full of memories and sayings and lovely photos.

    • So sorry about your Mom and that sentence about how silent the silence is broke my heart. I love that I still have Mom and can enjoy her. You can’t replace your mom.

    • We can’t appreciate our moms enough I find. She is helping me all the time now that I have had my knee replaced. She is just like the energizer bunny at 75! I hope I have that much stamina at her age.

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