This past week I had an MRI done on my left knee.It was an experience that I will not soon forget.I’ve never had one of these things done and thought it would be a piece of cake.You don’t have to fast or get an IV so easy peasy puddin pie and all that happy stuff or so I thought.
The first problem I encountered was just getting to the place in one piece.I am directionally challenged to say the least and the appointment was for 10 pm at night.Of course I am going by myself because Hungarian Work Horse is on horribly long work hours and I can’t ask him to go.He sends me off with a kiss and you’ll be fine.It is only a 30 minute drive so I take off an hour and a half early,just in case.I know that sounds ridiculous but my sister and I once were coming home from Saginaw and almost went to the Mackinaw Bridge.After much horn blowing and my nerves frayed because of all the semis on the road I make it there with 10 minutes to spare.
I had enough paper work to fill out that when I was done I had writers cramp and this was funny because I was preregistered.They now know all my dirty little health secrets and who to call if the thing blows up or something.
I get in there and of course I have to disrobe and to my surprise the man gives me a pair of hospital pants that will fit an eight hundred pound man.He also must be at least seven foot tall.Try walking in those things when you limp like the Mafia has busted both of your knee caps.
I get in the room for the test and the guy says it will take about thirty five minutes and I have to lay there perfectly still.I am nervous because I get bad leg cramps and muscle spasms.This is not gonna be easy.He then asks me if I would like to listen to some music and before I can answer him he slaps a pair of headphones on my ears.Yikes!I am getting more concerned by the minute because they now have little postings on the machine that tell you don’t look at the beams because it can harm your eyes and I only have one good eye to start with and a morbid curiousity to what can harm them.Then I think maybe if I look just a little bit I can kill two birds with one stone and have laser done on my bad eye.Probably not a good idea as I have to drive home by myself in the dark.The honking would be more upsetting if I didn’t know where it was coming from.
The guy asks if I like country music and this is what I am thinking
Just insert my head where his wife’s is then we will look exactly alike.Instead I get music I have never heard of stuff recorded before I was born,you know like before they had electricity for the guitars.It was miserable.I think I will get through this and also appreciate all kinds of music in my next life.
About fifteen minutes go by and my muscles are doing what they do and I am cramping up and so I start to move just a fraction on an inch and nothing happens so I think OK a tiny bit of movement must be alright.My foot is now itching and my nose has a hair on it but I am sooooo in control.Moments like this I can’t believe how focused I can be.I am solid,I am amazingly still,I am like Lot’s wife when she looked back.Then my ankle moves and all of a sudden the music stops and the guy tells me in the headphones,how did he get on the radio anyway,that he has to do part of the test over because I moved.That guy put those headphones on me so he could HOLLER at me if I did something wrong.The nerve!
I finish the test and I am on my way home.