Today is the first Sunday night you will not be tucked into your bed here and I miss you.I am crying as I type this and I hardly ever cry anymore. I went to your Mom’s work and told her you had to go to your dad’s. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I feel like I have failed you miserably and I want you to know that you are so loved by your Momma and the rest of us. These last six months have been a gift from God. I don’t know what is in store for us and my heart is heavy right now but I know things can change in the blink of an eye and that is what I am hoping for.
Your mom loves you so much. She is trying to be able to be with you no matter what. Remember that. I am writing this so some day you know she has fought for you since the moment she knew about you. You are so blessed to have such a strong mother. No matter what anyone tells you she wants you all the time because you have a bond that only mothers and daughters can have not to hurt someone else. She wants you because God made you in her womb and she kept you safe there until you were ready to come out. She loves your fat little feet and your soft peaches cheeks. She loves your laughter and your giggles. She just loves you. She will tell you with her own mouth some day when you are big like her that she never did anything to ever hurt you only what she thought was best. She had to leave your dad’s house so she could be healthy and take good care of you. She did not want to break up your family and she did the right thing. It wasn’t something she did lightly and we had many conversations before she left.
Now for this, I want you to know that I tried to talk to your dad about taking you away from your mom for a week and then him missing you for a week. I think that there could be a solution to this but tonight he couldn’t listen to me. My only hope is that peoples heart soften to the point that they start thinking about you and nothing else. There is a story in the Bible about two women that were fighting over a baby and they had to go to the king to decide who was the real mother. The king told them he would cut the baby in half and that would solve the problem. The real mother then told the king to give the baby to the other woman because she couldn’t bare to have her baby hurt. That wise king then knew who the real mother was and she got her baby back. This is my hope for you. Your aunt is not your mother, your dad’s girlfriend is not your mother and I am not your mother. You have a mother that loves you with everything in her no matter what anyone tells you. I want you to have access to both of your parents but especially your mother.
Now as I close know that every night you are tucked in your bed here that we say your prayers and I am missing that right now. I love how you fold your little hands and look up at us with that grin. Your mom and I will say them for you until you get back. We love you my little sweetheart and so does your crazy dog Boots.
Love, Your Nana
I have to tell your mom this McKenzie. I love you Alisha. Know your dad and I are in your corner. We are proud and so blessed to have you as our girl. I know how humbling it was for you to ask for our help and how hard it was for you to ask God back in your life. That’s what is so great about giving up the old and putting on the new. You grow and God will sustain you through it all. He will put people in your life that will help you, Always remember that I don’t care what other people say and never have. You are my sweet sweet girl and I love you just as much today as I did when you were little like my Peaches.
Today as I sat in church with my grandkids I had a lump in my throat because my Alexis that beautiful baby in the picture above is almost eleven years old. Gone are her days of being carted around on her Aunt Alisha’s hip but not the connection of their love for each other.Alisha still loves that girl and it is evident because she trusts her with her own baby McKenzie.
Fast forward nine years later and some things never change. Braces and pajamas and babies getting carted around are still prevalent in this house and I am glad. Being adored when you are ten by a little person is awesome. That look of joy I see on my Lexie’s face is the same look I saw on Alisha’s when she was that age. I savor the innocence like I do my Little Dude’s kisses because I know they will not last forever. I remember loving my cousins like that. There is just something about girls and their cousins. McKenzie will run to Alexis before any of the other kids. They have a bond and I know Alexis loves it and who wouldn’t, just look at those cheeks!
So today I am thankful for the time that went so fast it almost came full circle. It is hard to believe that my baby has a baby and my first granddaughter is old enough to cart a baby around. I wish I could slow this time down but I don’t think I will worry about it, just enjoy it. Thank God for little girls.
Last Saturday I had all the grand girls for a sleep over. As the evening wore on I was getting very tired plus I was so thirsty after our burrito supper. I asked Hungarian Work Horse if there was any Mountain Dew in the basement refrigerator thinking it might solve both my problems. He brought me one up and right on cue as I was unscrewing the lid off out comes our little Landyn.
“Nana are you drinking pop?”
“Yes, Honey I am.”
“I love pop Nana but I can’t drink Mountain Dew because my Mom won’t let me. It is not good for you.”
“Landyn, I hardly ever drink pop so I think it will be alright. Besides your dad drinks it and he is okay”
“ No Nana it is bad for you and you should not drink it. I know this.”
“What can happen Landyn?”
She thought for a second and then replied,”Well you will get a moustache so stop drinking it. You don’t want to walk around looking like that do you?”
As I was conjuring up images of me with a mustache like Yosemite Sam’s I put the bottle down. I’m sticking to good old water from now on. Those stinking mustaches run in our family and I don’t want to embarrass the grand girls. Now that I think of it I better call Alisha. I think she was downing one of those big bottles the other day and I certainly don’t want her to have a five o’clock shadow before she has to.
Tonight I am thankful for my little Landyn that wants to be called Minnie. She is so precious to me. My heart fills with love just thinking of her. Thank you God for little girls with a twin brother.There is nothing better. Blessings Everyone.
I came home to a quiet house yesterday. As I walked into the house imagine how shocked I was when I opened our bathroom door. A robbery must have happened and I never had Little Dude with me to look for clues. He was having a pajama day with his other fake grandma Ronda.
Yes that’s her. I’m not too worried about her taking my place in the highest anarchy grandma department because her fingers get stuck in her ears like that and it sometimes makes playing with the kids difficult. Hopefully with the new Obama Care she can get that problem fixed. But now back to the invasion…
I had a pretty good idea who the bandit was but I needed help. The only thing missing was a roll of toilet paper and a few wash clothes. In the past there have been toilet paper trails and towel lint on the floor but not today. The robber was getting crafty.
Usually when this occurs there is a trail of Fig Newton’s and some strange music coming from the toy area but today it was quiet.
Then I heard noise coming from down our open stair way. My daughter Alisha had the perpetrator in custody and here is what she looks like.
If you see her near any bathroom area make sure the door is closed and locked. Or better yet ask her to close it and she will because she knows if it is open the temptation will over take her sensibilities and she will commit the crime. She can’t help it. She just loves bathroom paraphernalia.
This little girl is in the middle of a war and she doesn’t even know it. It about knocks the breath of me to know that she is loved by many and fought over by two families.
About two weeks ago I came home from work with a note on our bar in the kitchen from my daughter. It said, I am here now but McKenzie is not. Alisha left the residence that her and her boyfriend lived in and he wouldn’t let her take her baby. Her heart was broken and she was afraid. After five agonizing days the police picked this little girl up and returned her to her mother. Now through the court system they have to figure out what is best for McKenzie and I can see already it is going to be an uphill climb because these parents cannot talk to each other. There is bitterness and anger and for that I am so sorry. I hate that my daughter has to feel like this. She is such a good little mama and I am proud of the way she takes care of her daughter. Her voice will be forever seared in my brain when she would call and just sob,”Mom, I just want my baby.” I heard this on her way to work and sometimes on her way home from work. She just wanted her baby. It was gut wrenching and I couldn’t sleep just trying to think of ways to console her. I knew that she would get her baby because her baby belongs with her I just didn’t know when. I am so thankful that McKenzie is with us and that she is such a happy little girl.
Through this Alisha has learned many things. She now tells me she wished that she would have listened to her dad and me when she was eighteen. We didn’t want her to live with somebody before she was married and she now knows that sneaking around to meet her now babies father was not the right thing to do. I don’t know if she thought that we wouldn’t approve of him or if in her heart she knew that he wasn’t good for her but the hard truth is they should never have been a couple. She tells me that she has regrets but she did get a miracle out of the deal and that is McKenzie and I tend to agree with her. I love having the baby here because we hardly see hardly ever saw them when her and the babies father were together. She is a little miracle and I am so glad Alisha has her. McKenzie is Alisha’s hope for the future and her help in the journey back to her family. We have both of them in our hub to stay and there is no doubt in my mind that Alisha feels the same way. I can’t worry about the outcome of this mess but I can enjoy and rejoice in the love my family. I know Alisha’s lesson in this is a hard one, undeniably more than she thinks she can handle but I know she can do it. This family won’t let her down. She is protected by her dad and my love and support no matter what. We have already gotten so many blessings with her coming back home.She talks to me and never seems to tire of it. She wants to do the right thing and she wants to go back to school. Her goals are attainable with her families help and I want her to know that we will help in any way we can. We love her and no matter what she did in her past and we are proud of her. She too is a miracle.
Lessons in life are hard and going through something like this always leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I don’t like conflict and I don’t like to fight. I want the right thing for Alisha and McKenzie to happen and I believe it will. This last week I started thinking about when the girls were in high school and their petty arguments would want me to rip out my hair. How those days look so simple now. I pray that I do the right thing always for my girl and my granddaughter. Alisha if you are reading this right now just know it is going to be alright. Your future is just waiting to spill goodness on you and McKenzie. You will someday look back and this will be a memory not a nightmare like it is now. You now walk the walk of a mother and God loves a good mother. When Jesus was hanging on the cross He loved His mother so much that He gave her another son. That shows me how much compassion God has for a mother suffering. I have thought of this many times and I want you to remember it. Use your lips for kissing your daughter (and your mother wouldn’t mind one once in a while) and good things will happen. God gave you McKenzie and He won’t take her away.
My hope in all of this is that young people really think hard before they make choices. I find it comforting that my daughter now knows that her dad and I always wanted the best for her. Simply put she is ours even if someone called us adopted parents in a document. Blood doesn’t make family. Love does.
My Sister Linda and I were Sunday School teachers for many years. Here is Little Dude singing one of the songs we used to teach our students. He loves to sing and I love to teach so it is a match made in heaven. I want him to see how he sang when he was little because I know some day down the road he won’t admit he ever sang for me. This is for his future wife and their kids. Wouldn’t it be fun to see your dad doing something like this when he was little? Sorry about my taping again. I know it isn’t the greatest but the content is so sweet I wanted to always have it for him. I had to put it on twice because I love how he claps like he has cymbals. Blessings everyone.
. Little Dude never made it to church last Sunday and I was telling him how I let another little boy sit by me and play with my Kindle. He got mad about it.
“Nana he betta watch out because I might punch him.”
“Honey, that isn’t very nice. Do you think that Jesus would say something like that?”
“Nana, don’t wowwy I wouldn’t punch Jesus.”